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What Your Legs Say About You | Beauty Parade 1950

What do your legs say about you?
According to the January 1950 issue of  Beauty Parade they’re sending coded messages to every man around! This vintage guide to body language is such a giggle I just had to share.

Beauty Parade January 1950 ladies legs | Velvet DeCollete
Beauty Parade January 1950 ladies legs | Velvet DeCollete

Thank goodness the helpful men of 1950 are here to enlighten us! Without them, I might have carried on blissfully unaware that my sitting habits were leading on that guy across the bar.

Do you have any priceless lad’s mag advice tucked away? Share it here or on my facebook page and we’ll make a whole post of it!

With style and sass,

                      Velvet

 

Posted by velvetdecollete in LIFESTYLE, OTHER, PINUP, 0 comments
12 Days of Vintage Christmas | Light ‘Em Up

12 Days of Vintage Christmas | Light ‘Em Up

 

On the twelfth day of Christmas

Today’s weird vintage ad was a toss up between kids with lighters and kids with shotguns.

Now I don’t know what it’s like elsewhere in the world, but in NZ both are considered kinda unsafe. Kids are nuts.  When I was that girl’s age I set all kinds of things on fire. That little boy probably just tried to light the Christmas tree so he could try out his new toy fire truck.

 

Maybe I should have gone with the “grinning children holding guns” ad.

With style and sass,

                 Velvet

Need more festive cheer?
Day 11
Day 10
Day 9
Day 8
Day 7
Day 6
Day 5
Day 4
Day 3
Day 2
Day 1

 

 

 

 

 

Posted by velvetdecollete in LIFESTYLE, OTHER, 10 comments
12 Days of Vintage Christmas | Suck it This Christmas

12 Days of Vintage Christmas | Suck it This Christmas

On the eleventh day of Christmas

You got to clean the house! Lucky you!
Okay okay, I know that vacuum cleaners were super fancy luxury items, and that sweeping the house is hard work, but as a Christmas gift?!
I guess at least it wasn’t for Valentines Day.

Seriously though the tiny vacuum cleaner model designed as a subtle hint for your husband is just hilarious. It’s so cute!

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Just be grateful we got through this post without me making jokes about things that suck… well apart from that one in the title.

With style and sass,

                   Velvet

Hey! If this wasn’t enough festive cheer for you there’s a link to all twelve days on this post!

 

 

 

 

 

Posted by velvetdecollete in LIFESTYLE, OTHER, 1 comment
12 Days of Vintage Christmas | Weighing In on the Subject

12 Days of Vintage Christmas | Weighing In on the Subject

On the ninth day of Christmas

Someone thought bathroom scales were an appropriate gift…
At Christmas…
When we all eat too much and lie around like beached whales…

Either it’s a hint to lay off the pavlova or someone just doesn’t have a clue. They’re bound to be receiving a festive slap after this ( or end up cooking their own Christmas dinner! )

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However if you are down for weight watching and healthy choices this festive season, don’t worry, Green Giant Peas has your back! Look how cute that pea pod wreath is. Mmmm veges from a tin.
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With style and sass,

                   Velvet

Hey! If this wasn’t enough festive cheer for you, there’s a link to all 12 days on this post.

 

 

 

 

 

Posted by velvetdecollete in LIFESTYLE, OTHER, 0 comments
12 Days of Vintage Christmas | Stocking Seams and Santa

12 Days of Vintage Christmas | Stocking Seams and Santa

On the eighth day of Christmas

Mojud provided stockings with Magic-Motion and spring back knit! We all love stockings, but with that tree apparently being a bit grabby, I wouldn’t want my new back seams anywhere near it!
She seems blissfully unaware that pervy santa can see straight up her skirt… which is odd, considering she’s reaching past it to grab her presents. Maybe it was all part of her cunning plan to get two?

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Hey Santa, stop being a perv. It’s weird enough that you’re breaking into people’s houses as it is.
Not that I’d say no to a couple of pairs of stockings, I like Pretty Polly’s, how about you?

With style and sass,

                   Velvet DeCollete

Hey! If this wasn’t enough festive cheer for you, there’s a link to all 12 days on this post.

Posted by velvetdecollete in LIFESTYLE, OTHER, 1 comment
12 Days of Vintage Christmas | A Sticky Situation

12 Days of Vintage Christmas | A Sticky Situation

On the seventh day of Christmas

Don’t forget you can use Scotch Tape for anything! Taping cards to walls, trimming kids fringes, or spelling ‘DICK’ in big letters on gifts. Just in case you didn’t know who it’s for, it’s for the dick, I mean for Dick. Yup.

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Don’t tape things to your walls this Christmas. Unless you’re redecorating next year, in which case go crazy – you don’t need that paint anyway.

With Style and Sass,

                   Velvet

Hey! If this wasn’t enough festive cheer for you, there’s a link to all 12 days on this post.

 

 

 

 

Posted by velvetdecollete in LIFESTYLE, OTHER, 0 comments
12 Days of Vintage Christmas | Beer With Me

12 Days of Vintage Christmas | Beer With Me

On the sixth day of Christmas

I’m not sure what’s going on here.
She’s rubbing decorations on her face while eyeing up a beer?
She’s sick of this shit already and that beer is the best darn thing she’s seen all day?
Wait I know that look,
She’s out of setting lotion and Nana said you can use beer instead. Holiday hair saved!

 

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Don’t judge her, we’ve all been there. The vintage hair styling pain is real.

With style and sass,

                  Velvet

Hey! If this wasn’t enough festive cheer for you there’s a link to all twelve days on this post.

 

 

 

 

 

Posted by velvetdecollete in LIFESTYLE, OTHER, 0 comments
12 Days of Vintage Christmas |Pepsi vs Coca Cola

12 Days of Vintage Christmas |Pepsi vs Coca Cola

 

On the fifth day of Christmas

We have the battle of the ages, a tale old as time … Pepsi vs Coca Cola.

In the first image we have a woman who knows her hat is amazing and is determined to be the most light hearted Liz Taylor look alike at the office Christmas Bash.( Even if Nigel in the background doesn’t understand that it’s Fashun Dahling).

She’s also working that fur collared suit like a boss.

christmas-5The Second image doesn’t even need words. We know it’s for Coke. Just like we know the sassy red head is about to tell orange George Clooney that she may be four rum & Coke’s in, but this dress is far too fabulous to be on anyone’s bedroom floor.

Henry in the background is looking on all smug, because he knows this is gonna be good.

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Who won the carbonated beverage vote, Pepsi or Coca Cola? Let me know in the comments! (My vote goes to Coke, because that illustration is just so gorgeous).

 

With style and sass,

                   Velvet

Hey! If this wasn’t enough festive cheer for you there’s a link to all twelve days on this post.

 

 

 

 

 

Posted by velvetdecollete in OTHER, 0 comments

12 Days of Vintage Christmas | Disney Aluminum for Everyone!

On the fourth day of Christmas

We all went crazy for Reynolds Aluminum. So shiny, it’s basically jewellery.
Having said that, Donald has a TV with a handle. Who needs an Ipad now? Not Donald.

christmas-4

Does anyone else feel like Minnie is  a little too happy with that big pink fridge. She’s very red in the face, and she’s stroking it. Maybe I should have called this The 12 Weirdly Sexual Vintage Ads of Christmas.
Maybe I’m just filthy?

Both. it’s probably both.

 

With style and sass,

                   Velvet

Hey! If this wasn’t enough festive cheer for you there’s a link to all twelve days on this post.

 

 

 

 

 

Posted by velvetdecollete in LIFESTYLE, OTHER, 1 comment
12 Days of Vintage Christmas | Nothing Does It Like Seven-up?

12 Days of Vintage Christmas | Nothing Does It Like Seven-up?

On the third day of Christmas

Thinly veiled sexual innuendo aside, he’s feeding her cocktail sausages without tomato sauce. No deal Casanova, no deal.
At least the Seven-Up crate is wearing protection in the form of a cute cellophane wrap with a bow, just in case you didn’t know it was Christmas.

 

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I got nothing. I’m still stuck on “nothing does it like Seven-up”. It sounds more like an ad for overly masculine body spray than a carbonated beverage.

With style and sass,

                   Velvet

Hey! If this wasn’t enough festive cheer for you there’s a link to all twelve days on this post.

 

 

 

 

 

Posted by velvetdecollete in LIFESTYLE, OTHER, 0 comments