mental health

Why I’m Not Setting New Year Goals

Why I’m Not Setting New Year Goals

Are you like me? Every year I set wonderful New Year Goals, and every year I forget about them by February 1st.

This happens for a a variety of reasons. I don’t put them somewhere visible, I set goals that are too broad, too specific or my situation changes and they lose relevance. It just doesn’t work for me.

So this year I’m changing it up. My 2018 new year’s resolutions aren’t goals. They’re behaviors.

– Discipline Gratitude –

With no numbers to hit or immovable destinations I can focus on what’s really important. Creating content that matters. Focusing my creativity where it makes the biggest difference. Changing my destination if I need to.

Discipline

While discipline sounds boring, it’ll actually allow me to be more creative. Removing unnecessary busywork and distractions will strengthen my  focus, creating more efficient work habits and an environment in which success happens smoothly.

I won’t lie, it’s going to be hard. I’m one of those messy creatives who struggles to finish projects without a deadline, jumping from one idea to another as inspiration takes me. My commissions are always completed on time, but my personal design collections and projects pile up unfinished. Wah wah waaaaaaaah.

Schedules and turning off the WiFi will be key this year. Disconnecting from distractions to reconnect with my purpose!

Gratitude

People have been throwing around the whole Gratitude mindset for years now, and honestly, I always thought it was a bit airy fairy.  It seemed like something for serene people who do yoga on the beach at dawn, not cynical realists like me. I struggle with mental illness, particularly self doubt and the impostor experience. I was having a major self doubt moment questioning my past decisions when Miss Lily Kate ( seriously the wisest person I know ) turned on the light with this gem…

 

“Self degradation stops where gratitude begins. You’ve got so much to be thankful for based on many decisions, some made for you, many made for yourself- a roof, food, a loving partner and friends, put that thought out with all that goodness”

 

The whole Gratitude shebang suddenly made sense.

It’s not just about being thankful for what other people do for you – which I am – but which also makes me painfully aware of my perceived personal failures. It’s about being grateful for where you are and what you have, and sometimes that means acknowledging that you made some of that happen yourself. The occasional fuck up doesn’t seem so crushing when you can appreciate all the small things you’ve done right.

I’m hoping adopting an attitude of gratitude will lessen my FOMO too.
While I’d love to be globe hopping with all my seemingly highly successful friends, that’s just not where I’m at right now.
And ya know what? That’s okay. I’ve got time. Time to make my mark by making other people feel amazing in their dream clothes. Time to get my husband and I’s business running so we can spend some off together. Time to build a pin up brand and community I’m really proud of.

My Goals Aren’t 2018 Goals

They’re life goals.

I’m excited to enter 2018 with clarity and purpose. I truly believe I’ll achieve more than ever, and I hope you’ll be with me when I do!

Creating content that’s valuable to you is important to me. I’m here to help you feel confident, own your body and dress like the pavement’s a catwalk. So tell me what you want ( what you really, really want ).  You can let me know what pin up, vintage or style related posts and videos you’d find helpful by leaving me a comment here, or on any of the social links below.

You can also join my pin up Facebook group the Pinup Posse. The Pinup Posse is a supportive space for vintage and pin up loving women and LGBTQ+  to share style, beauty and life tips in a bully free environment. I created it specifically for those new to the pin up lifestyle – no question is a silly question, and our established pinup mentors ( Including three Miss Pinup New Zealand winners!) are on hand with advice and inspiration.

Lets make 2018 our strongest, sassiest and most stylish year yet!

Join Me Here

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The Pinup Posse
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With Style & Sass,

      Velvet DeCollete

Posted by velvetdecollete in LIFESTYLE, 2 comments

Glitter Crash | Surviving the Post-Con Blues

It’s Monday morning. You’ve had less than 10 hours sleep since last Thursday, there’s still glitter in your hair and every part of your body hurts. You feel like the real world hates you and you don’t understand why you have to wear pants.

You’ve got Glitter Crash. The Post Con Blues – Burlesque Edition.

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By definition, post con blues is the downer following a big convention. Glitter crash is the downer following a burlesque show, workshop retreat or festival. The high of performing, partying and looking fucking fabulous wears off and you’re left feeling drained, empty, and fighting the post con crud.

In the wake of the New Zealand Burlesque Festival 2017 many of my rhinestoned friends will be feeling this. But not all is lost. You can fight this. You can. So shake the glitter out of your suit pants, put some plasters on your stiletto blisters and get back to owning life like the creative genius you are.

Acknowledge it

I came home last night, put on my dino onesie, cleared my email inbox and had a cry because life was too hard. Not because it actually was, but because I was emotionally and physically drained and incapable of logical thought. I didn’t even perform last weekend, but four days of screaming at shows, workshops, partying and boundless love for my burlesque family have me crashing hard.
Be aware of Glitter Crash. Know the signs, know it’s okay and that you’re not crazy.

Rest Up

Take a hot shower and get some goddamn sleep. While the temptation is high to spend the next 48 hours online tracking down EVERY. SINGLE. PHOTO this won’t actually change the fact you’re crying because half your biscuit fell off in your tea. Go to bed and get some proper sleep.
If you can’t sleep, at least make yourself into a blanket burrito and read a book. Just get some actual rest mkay?

Eat actual food

You survived the last four days on VIP nibbles, liquor and energy drink. I get it, there was no time for lunch, and no way was I risking a makeup disaster to eat dinner. Unfortunately, cheese and vodka aren’t high in vitamins.
To avoid the post con plague you need to eat some healthy food, take some vitamins and drink plenty of water. Healthy food doesn’t mean lots of work either, a google search turns up tons of fast recipes, or if you can’t face cooking pick up a premade salad, fresh packet soup or salad filled kebab for a vege rich quick fix.

Leave the House

Strangely enough, becoming a hermit won’t make you feel less isolated. Go see your friends, skype your sparkle fam or get out in the sun for some mood boosting rays. Physical contact helps release happy juice in your brain, so if you’ve got a snuggle buddy, snuggle ’em.
Social contact and sunlight are a huge part of surviving Glitter Crash and making sure it doesn’t drag on longer than it should. We’re all feeling it and you are not alone.

Look Forward

You’ve been looking forward to that festival, con or show for months. Every waking moment has been prepping for it. And now it’s done, leaving a gaping hole in your life. What are you supposed to do with your time?
Claw back your sense of purpose by creating things to look forward to. Rehearse one of your acts. Work on a costume. Plan for upcoming shows. Make a fricken mind map of all the amazing inspiration that rained down upon you over the last few days, and start using it!
Self motivation is hard, but creating a schedule or to-do list can get you moving and help kick that aimless feeling.

Practice Self Care

Take time out for yourself. While you can’t avoid going back to work you can make the real world a little more tolerable by making yourself feel nice. Read a book, treat your over-makeuped skin to a DIY facemask, or make a point of getting out in nature. Schedule time for the things that make you feel happy and centered and reclaim your shine.
( Self care is a pretty good habit to get into, so if you need some daily ideas these ones are pretty good.)

While Glitter Crash is awful, it’s not permanent. Acknowledge it, plan for it, implement some coping strategies for your body and mind and you’ll be back on track in no time!

With Style and Sass,

             Velvet DeCollete

 

Posted by velvetdecollete in LIFESTYLE, 1 comment