Pinup modelling tips

How To Look Confident (Even When You’re Not)

How To Look Confident (Even When You’re Not)

Fake it ’til you make it.

When it comes to confidence, that’s the best advice I ever got. Faking it can lead to making it, and real, actual confidence.

But how do you act confident when you’re not?
You act babes, you act like you’re the bomb diggity and that no one can tell you otherwise.
Here’s how…

Take Up Space

Anxious people make themselves as small as possible, hoping people won’t notice them. Confident people take up space.

Stand tall and straight. Imagine you’re being pulled up by an invisible string from the top of your head (you can thank my grade three ballet teacher for that one). Pull your shoulders back, push your chest out and keep your chin up. This isn’t how most of us naturally stand, so practice your posture until it comes as second nature. A good trick for this is to consciously correct your posture every time you walk through a doorway, until it becomes habitual to stand up straight!

If I want to exude extra confidence I put one hand on my hip for bonus sass – taking up even more space.

These photos show examples of poses that take up space!

Classic pin up girl velvet decollete poses in a 1950s black swimsuit with red roses while sheltering under a bright red parasol. Her brunette hair is in a poodle 'do with bumper bangs and she wears shiny red high heels

Pause & Pose

Confident people aren’t afraid of being seen. So pause, and pose.

Pause and pose for a few seconds when you make an entrance, whether it’s a room or a stage.
Pause before answering questions, because your answers are worth thinking about.
Pose for photos.
Pose when you’re standing in line or chatting to people and take up space.
Take your time and let people admire you!

You can see some mini pauses in action in this wee snippet, filmed by L’Amour Cartier during my Miss Pinup NZ swimwear walk.

Talk Slower Than You Think You Need To

I talk a mile a minute when I’m nervous. Most people do. Time seems to pass slowly when you’re speaking under pressure, but in reality, you sound like you’re on fast forward.

Speak at half the speed you think you need to.  Enunciate clearly. Take deep breaths. Pause.

Also don’t be afraid of silence. I say dumb, weird shit when I force myself to make small talk. I just find it so awkward.  Don’t feel the need to fill every gap in the conversation because you’ll only get flustered!

Smile

As we say in show biz, tits & teeth honey.

Smiling doesn’t just make you look more confident,  it releases the feel-good neurotransmitters dopamine, endorphins and serotonin in your brain, reducing stress and actually making you feel happier and more confident. Think of something you love to give you a genuine smile. (Faking it can look more like a grimace.)

Velvet DeCollete smiling tiki pinup girl on beach

Make Eye Contact

But don’t forget to blink.

Eye contact makes people feel a connection to you. Make eye contact as you speak to people to seem more self assured and honest. If you’re competing make eye contact with the judges. If you’re on stage, pick a few people in the audience to make eye contact with. Pretend you know them if it helps!

Just don’t forget to blink. Staring is creepy.

Mrs Greatnews is a perfect example of someone who looks confident on stage. Notice how she’s making eye contact with the judges, smiling and taking up space?

Don’t Fidget

I don’t know about you, but I read that in my Mother’s voice.

Fidgeting is a dead giveaway of anxiety. We do it unconsciously to calm ourselves. To appear more confident, keep your hands relaxed at your sides or on your lap. Try not to play with your hair, touch your face, or constantly check your phone. If you know you’re a nervous fidgeter, consider holding a handbag or a fan to keep your hands occupied.

Oh, and if you’re holding a parasol, try not to spin it if you’re waiting on stage with other people. It’s distracting and you’ll look nervous, or like you’re not paying attention.

So How Do We Fake Confidence?

  1. Take up space
  2. Pause & Pose
  3. Speak Slowly
  4. Smile
  5. Make eye contact
  6. Don’t fidget

Now go out there and fake it ’til you make it!

 

You’ll love these posts for more pinup and confidence building tips…

pinup blogger | Things I wish someone had told me when I was a new pinup

With Style & Sass,

Velvet DeCollete

 

 

Posted by velvetdecollete in LIFESTYLE, PINUP, 1 comment