pinup tips

How To Look Confident (Even When You’re Not)

How To Look Confident (Even When You’re Not)

Fake it ’til you make it.

When it comes to confidence, that’s the best advice I ever got. Faking it can lead to making it, and real, actual confidence.

But how do you act confident when you’re not?
You act babes, you act like you’re the bomb diggity and that no one can tell you otherwise.
Here’s how…

Take Up Space

Anxious people make themselves as small as possible, hoping people won’t notice them. Confident people take up space.

Stand tall and straight. Imagine you’re being pulled up by an invisible string from the top of your head (you can thank my grade three ballet teacher for that one). Pull your shoulders back, push your chest out and keep your chin up. This isn’t how most of us naturally stand, so practice your posture until it comes as second nature. A good trick for this is to consciously correct your posture every time you walk through a doorway, until it becomes habitual to stand up straight!

If I want to exude extra confidence I put one hand on my hip for bonus sass – taking up even more space.

These photos show examples of poses that take up space!

Classic pin up girl velvet decollete poses in a 1950s black swimsuit with red roses while sheltering under a bright red parasol. Her brunette hair is in a poodle 'do with bumper bangs and she wears shiny red high heels

Pause & Pose

Confident people aren’t afraid of being seen. So pause, and pose.

Pause and pose for a few seconds when you make an entrance, whether it’s a room or a stage.
Pause before answering questions, because your answers are worth thinking about.
Pose for photos.
Pose when you’re standing in line or chatting to people and take up space.
Take your time and let people admire you!

You can see some mini pauses in action in this wee snippet, filmed by L’Amour Cartier during my Miss Pinup NZ swimwear walk.

Talk Slower Than You Think You Need To

I talk a mile a minute when I’m nervous. Most people do. Time seems to pass slowly when you’re speaking under pressure, but in reality, you sound like you’re on fast forward.

Speak at half the speed you think you need to.  Enunciate clearly. Take deep breaths. Pause.

Also don’t be afraid of silence. I say dumb, weird shit when I force myself to make small talk. I just find it so awkward.  Don’t feel the need to fill every gap in the conversation because you’ll only get flustered!

Smile

As we say in show biz, tits & teeth honey.

Smiling doesn’t just make you look more confident,  it releases the feel-good neurotransmitters dopamine, endorphins and serotonin in your brain, reducing stress and actually making you feel happier and more confident. Think of something you love to give you a genuine smile. (Faking it can look more like a grimace.)

Velvet DeCollete smiling tiki pinup girl on beach

Make Eye Contact

But don’t forget to blink.

Eye contact makes people feel a connection to you. Make eye contact as you speak to people to seem more self assured and honest. If you’re competing make eye contact with the judges. If you’re on stage, pick a few people in the audience to make eye contact with. Pretend you know them if it helps!

Just don’t forget to blink. Staring is creepy.

Mrs Greatnews is a perfect example of someone who looks confident on stage. Notice how she’s making eye contact with the judges, smiling and taking up space?

Don’t Fidget

I don’t know about you, but I read that in my Mother’s voice.

Fidgeting is a dead giveaway of anxiety. We do it unconsciously to calm ourselves. To appear more confident, keep your hands relaxed at your sides or on your lap. Try not to play with your hair, touch your face, or constantly check your phone. If you know you’re a nervous fidgeter, consider holding a handbag or a fan to keep your hands occupied.

Oh, and if you’re holding a parasol, try not to spin it if you’re waiting on stage with other people. It’s distracting and you’ll look nervous, or like you’re not paying attention.

So How Do We Fake Confidence?

  1. Take up space
  2. Pause & Pose
  3. Speak Slowly
  4. Smile
  5. Make eye contact
  6. Don’t fidget

Now go out there and fake it ’til you make it!

 

You’ll love these posts for more pinup and confidence building tips…

pinup blogger | Things I wish someone had told me when I was a new pinup

With Style & Sass,

Velvet DeCollete

 

 

Posted by velvetdecollete in LIFESTYLE, PINUP, 1 comment
Things I Wish I’d Known When I Started In Pinup

Things I Wish I’d Known When I Started In Pinup

Things I wish I’d known when I started exploring pin up style, and the vintage community! Hindsight is 20/20, and while I can’t go back and tell myself these tips, I can tell you!

1. People Aren’t  Scary

I’m super shy. True story ( I see you laughing in the back, cut that out!). I find it absolutely, shakin’ in my size five shoes terrifying to walk up to people I don’t know and say hi.

You’re thinking what if they don’t like you? What if they think you’re weird? What if they don’t want you in their retrofabulous clique?
Well… what if they’re the nicest people you’ll ever meet, but you never meet them?

I know it’s intimidating to walk up to a group of women dressed like tropical fruit cocktails, BUT IT WILL BE OKAY. Almost everyone I’ve met in the New Zealand pinup and vintage community has been friendly and welcoming, after all, you already have at least one passion in common! Just walk up and say ” Hi, I’m new to pinup, what’s your name”, it’s that simple.

Pro Tip | Queues are a friend-making experience. I’ve made friends with pinups waiting in the line for smoothies, the toilets and best dressed comps!

New Zealand Pinups At the Very Vintage Day Out afterparty in 2015

This photo was taken at the Very Vintage Day Out afterparty in 2015. I’m wearing the first pinup outfit I made myself, and when I went I only knew Soda Fontaine – we’re the two on the left end. Today I’m friends with all but one of the ladies in this photo! (I just haven’t seen her since then!)

 

2. Not Everyone Will Like You (And That’s Okay)

“If everybody likes you, you’re pretty dull.”
– Bette Davis

You can’t get along with everyone.
I repeat, YOU CAN’T GET ALONG WITH EVERYONE.
Bette Davis knew it and so should you.

Just like every other social group, there will be people in the pinup and vintage community that just don’t like you. There are people who love repro clothes, people who are vintage purists, people who love helping newbies and people who just don’t give a fuck. And that’s fine. If you’re true to yourself you’ll find your crowd, and chances are that someone won’t like what you’re about.

Personally I don’t tolerate bullying in our community, and I call it out when I see it. But if you just don’t click with someone, don’t stress about it, there’s plenty of other people to hang out with!

 

3. You Don’t Have To Look Like Everyone Else

The first thing I noticed about the NZ pinup scene was that everyone seemed to have a PUG Monica dress and BAIT shoes. I worried that I wouldn’t fit in without them, but they just weren’t in my budget.

Four years on and I still don’t have a Monica or BAIT shoes, and no one cares, because there are so many styles of pinup! When I think about well known pinups and vintage lovers, both locally and internationally, they all have their own personal style. Fashion is a form of self expression, use it!

If you don’t believe me, I literally dressed like a clown and people still loved it.

Velvet DeCollete is serving mid century jester realness in these cheesecake pinup photos by Tony McKay and the Beauty School Dropouts. Inspired by vintage playing card pin ups Velvet wears a Collectif clothing harlequin playsuit and custom made jester's ruff and frilly cuffs.

 

4. Not Every Hairstyle Will Work For You

This is a biggie. Please don’t beat yourself up because your victory rolls don’t work, or your curls won’t hold.

Not every hairstyle will work with your hair type. Hair length, thickness and texture play a huge part in the success of a hairstyle! My hair is fine, thin and frizzy, and I only have two go-to hairstyles. No joke, scroll through my gallery and you’ll notice them pretty quickly.

You don’t need to master tons of hairstyles right away. Figure out one or two that work with your hair type and just rock those until you’re confident. Or just add different flowers and scarves to the same one forever, like me haha!

Perfect one or two hairstyles at first, then branch out into others!

 

5. There’s A False Eyelash Applicator

Seriously, why did no one tell me this?

False eyelashes are my nemesis. I poke myself in the eye and get glue everywhere without my applicator! Putting fake lashes on is hell! Okay maybe I’m unco, but I can’t be the only one?

I had never successfully applied falsies until I discovered an applicator tool. It saved my sanity. I have this one, but there’s a multitude of different styles and brands available.

False eyelash applicators make applying full lashes for that pinup look so much easier!

6. YouTube Makeup Tutorials Exist

Youtube makeup tutorials saved my face, or at least my eyeliner. There’s tutorials for hooded eyes, contouring, cut crease eye shadow and every other makeup style on the planet. And they’re free! Whoop whoop!

I wish I’d known about video tutorials when I first forayed into pinup style. They’re my go-to when I need a new photoshoot makeup look, and helped me get to grips with winged liner for hooded eyes. Just type ‘pinup makeup tutorial’ or ‘vintage makeup tutorial’ in the search bar.

I’m still no makeup expert, but Youtube makeup tutorials definitely improved my makeup game. You can check out some of my favourite hair and makeup inspirations and tutorials over on Pinterest.

7. There Are Tons Of Events

Maybe there were fewer NZ pinup and vintage events when I started, but for the longest time I only knew about Beach Hop and Very Vintage Day Out!

In the last year it seems almost every car or hotrod event seems to have a pinup pageant, and there are vintage markets popping up regularly. Find your local pinup and vintage groups on Facebook to keep updated and can head along! Events are fab places to make new friends and get some low pressure stage experience if you’re thinking of entering Miss Pinup New Zealand later on.

Flying solo? Post in your local Facebook group and you’ll often find others going alone who are happy to meet up!

Miss Retro Beauty Beach Hop best dressed contest 2018

 

What did you wish you’d known when you’d started pinup?
Share your tips in the comments below, or on Instagram by tagging me, using my #lessbitchymorekitschy hashtag or commenting on the image for this post!

If you’re new to pinup style head on over to the Pinup Posse group. It’s a safe space for pinups and we’ll be happy to answer your questions about pinup and vintage style (yes, even the ones you think are silly.)

With Style & Sass,

Velvet DeCollete

Posted by velvetdecollete in LIFESTYLE, PINUP, 0 comments